Ben as my own Mr. Big

Hey Chicas,

I just wanted to say thanks for such a great Haloween. 3 parties in one night baby! C, I can't wait to hear what happened to you at the last event.

As for myself, I really wanted to share the awesomeness that I skillfully crafted. (Not that I'm super proud or anything). I think I might have created commitment without having the conversation. But please don't feel you have to read, I just wanted to share, and thought you two might appreciate this.

Ok, so you know B? Uber-Commitment phobe whom I've been dating since January and am, lets be honest, head of heels for. I've attempted to have the "conversation" about us several times, and Ben has skirted the issue several times. He took me to the Hockey Game last night, and afterwards we had dinner at Nando's. Now to catch you guys up, over the past several weeks, he has been increasingly active in his pursual/interest, and its really odd for a Day to pass without me either getting an e-mail, gchat, or text from him. We have the whole "classy" competition going on, where we get points for classy events we go to, and he honestly seems more interested than ever before.

This does not detract from the fact that he is painfully fearful of commitment, and even though I am fairly certain he is not dating anyone else, its hard not to feel like he's not waiting for something better to come along. I've also decided that he's my own Mr. Big.

But at anyrate, last night we had this talk about the new bowling league, and I expressed how excited I was, and that it would be fun to put a team together. I asked if he was interested, and he said yes! So now we are both inviting close friends to join and are basically running the bowling team. Which is a significant commitment. I mean it solidifies that we will see eachother at least once a week, and everyone who comes will know that we are dating.

So basically, its a commitment, that he's not planning moving on, at least until the end of january. Which takes away a huge weight off my shoulders of, "when will I see him again," "should I invite him to some event," etc. It might seem small, but I think its a really great step in the realm towards commitment, and it means we don't have to have "the conversation" yet, and I can leave the ball in his court. Perhaps I'm over-exagerating, but it seems like the perfect middle ground between dating and commitment. Heart.

He's also promised to attend the Smithsonian Young Benefactors Christmas/Yule Ball with me and to actually Dance!

Really happy with life right now,

M