Rule #1. Always wear cute underwear and shave your legs.

Rule #1. Always wear cute underwear and shave your legs, even when you're going out for a "girl's night." You never know who will be there.

In the spirit of October, this is a horror story, never to be repeated outside of this realm.

Last Friday, in the cold rain that is a D.C. October night, I dragged myself out of the house to meet up with two of my Besties at Bar Louie. A few cocktails later we were laughing our way to Rocketbar across the street - a notorious dive bar, but fun nonetheless with endless Ski-Ball and Pool. Impulsively, as I have begun to do habitually when in Chinatown, I sent B a text.

Ten Minutes later, B walks through the doors. He's completely a gentleman, and even buys a round of drinks for my girls. As I knew would happen, the girls headed out, and Ben and I lingered over drinks and flirtatious conversation. A wee bit tipsy is how I ended.

With no questions asked we made our way back to his apartment, which is a block away, swanky DC style. The internal debate I had been having all evening was over my choice to go home with him. This debate was over the one tiny fact that it was a cold night, I covered up in jeans, had unshaven legs and was wearing not the cutest underwear ever.

And Ladies, I did something then that no woman should ever, ever do. On the premise of having to pee due to the tipsiness, I entered B's bathroom. The idea was to desperately pray he used a traditional razor, and borrow it. What would have happened if he used an electric blade? I shiver at the thought. So I silently dry shaved, cleaned the blade, replaced it in the cupboard, and moved on with our night.

To this day, I think he has no idea.

Welcome to the Jungle...

At first I thought it was a phenomenon of the mid-twenties, but when my friends across the country all started pairing off, and the line of men I’ve dated in DC kept getting longer, I knew that DC is just a city of casual daters.

Last week, the new guy, I was seeing sent me a gchat:

“I haven't been sure how to say this which is kind of why I've been avoiding talking to you....I have definitely enjoyed spending time with you and everything, but I don't think it is a relationship I want to get serious in and I certainly don't want to lead you on in any way because you don't deserve that.”

Of course I was hurt, shocked, and dismayed….but mostly upset with the lack of common courtesy this boy showed by sending me a gchat, rather than a phone call, or in telling me in person. Another boy earlier this summer gave me a call noting that he just wasn’t “falling in love” with me. Yet another, B, I have been steadily going out with 2-3 times a month since January, with nothing to show. Perhaps I am just this unlovable, but more likely, it’s a city of casual.

In a fit of the standard disparaging remarks about P, one of my best friends T stated: “I think it's the town. The population is young and it's all about having a swinging dick good time. Single. Except for the people in the Express on Commitment Mondays.”

My friend A responded by saying, "that was courteous of him to tell you." And was seriously genuine about her comment. Have all dating relationships become so casual that it is acceptable for a guy you have been dating for over a month to send you a gchat breakup note? I refuse to accept that these are the new standards in life. We deserve more. I deserve more.

Since moving here in December of last year I’ve dated 9 men. Now define dating… Let’s go with 3+ dates and some serious making-out. Not a bad batting average when you consider that’s almost 1 a month. D.C. is all about racking up the votes, racking up the numbers, and proving that you are the best. The men here are generally short, competitive, and career focused. They are much more interested in you for the night than anyone long term.

One reason for this might be the transitory nature of life in D.C. Young people are constantly flowing in and out of the city. Hill staffers work here for 2-6 years, and then move home. International professionals come and work at the many development banks or embassies, and then retreat home. Virtually no one is looking to start a life here. That is, except me.

And that, my friends, is why I am writing; to keep a light on in the dark, to add strength to the search, and to find love in a mushroom cloud of casual.